To the vector go the spoils. ~Norton Juster
In honor of the day after Valentine’s Day and because it’s a cold, snowy, and windy winter day on the East Coast of the USA, I offer you this short, quirky, love story based on Norton Juster’s The Dot and the Line: a romance in lower mathematics. Enjoy. Just don’t over-think it, or it could lose part of its fun.
Key Life Choice: Do you have a favorite allegory or metaphor for romance, friendship, or getting along with others?
Posted by Pamela Gilley on February 15, 2015
https://keylifechoices.com/2015/02/15/key-life-choice-whats-your-romance-vector-factor/
“There are three constants in life,” said Stephen Covey, “Change, choice, and principles.”
Oh, my gosh, it’s February already!!!
Any chance you started the year off with some exciting choices to change some things in your life? Maybe you called them goals or resolutions.
Maybe you just said, “I don’t want (fill in your don’t-want-thing here),” and from there you determined, “I want (fill in your want-thing here).” Having your want identified, you began making choices to change so you could have it.
It’s now February. How’s it going for you? Maybe you’re floundering a bit or swirling in a feeling of overwhelm? I understand. I’m feeling that, too.
That’s why I’m so excited to share with you Coach Bill Hart’s Pick Your One Thing principle. The principle is simple: pick ONE THING and focus on it for 30 days.
I’ve often heard others say that “studies show” when we focus on One Thing, we have a much better chance of achieving what we set out to do. I don’t know if anyone has ever really studied this. But, I do know it’s a principle that works for me, and life has taught me that when I find something that works, it often works repeatedly.
Here’s how the principle of Pick Your One Thing as presented by Coach Hart works, and how I’m using it this month:
My One Thing is to write at least 15,000 words that will support the completion of my book and/or blogs that will encourage and inspire my clients and blog readers.
I’m committed to writing a minimum of 500 words each day for each of the next 30 days. (This idea is courtesy of Jeff Goins and his My500Words project.)
Mine will ensure I am making progress toward one of my goals for 2015. It will also support me in creating the habit of writing regularly and finding my writing voice.
My natural tendencies toward spontaneity and distraction, aka – lack of focus and the lure of “shiny objects”. My long “To do” list that can keep me busy but not necessarily productive. My commitments to clients and the regular operation of business. The emotions that may come up for me as I write.
It’s your turn. Make your Key Life Choice: Pick Your One Thing.
If you’d like to share what you wrote at the top of your One Thing page, I’d love to support you in it. Just leave it in the comment section below. If you prefer, you can send your One Thing commitment via email to onething@keylifechoices.com.
Those who share their One Thing will receive a free 30-minute coaching session to support you toward your commitment.
I’m excited to hear from you and to support you in your One Thing commitment!
Posted by Pamela Gilley on February 1, 2015
https://keylifechoices.com/2015/02/01/key-life-choice-pick-your-one-thing/
Posted by Pamela Gilley on January 30, 2015
https://keylifechoices.com/2015/01/30/key-life-choice-another-perspective-on-endings/
“What a terrible thing it is to botch a farewell. I am a person who believes in form, in the harmony of order. Where we can, we must give things a meaningful shape. For example – I wonder – could you tell my jumbled story in exactly one hundred chapters, not one more, not one less? I’ll tell you, that’s one thing I have about my nickname, the way the number runs on forever. It’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse. That bungled goodbye hurts me to this day. I wish so much that I’d had one last look at him in the lifeboat, that I’d provoked him a little, so that I was on his mind. I wish I had said to him then – yes, I know, to a tiger, but still – I wish I had said, “Richard Parker, it’s over. We have survived. Can you believe it? I owe you more gratitude than I can express I couldn’t have done it without you. I would like to say it formally: Richard Parker, thank you. Thank you for saving my life. And now go where you must. You have known the confined freedom of a zoo most of your life; now you will know the free confinement of a jungle. I wish you all the best with it. Watch out for Man. He is not your friend. But I hope you will remember me as a friend. I will never forget you , that is certain. You will always be with me, in my heart. What is that hiss? Ah, our boat has touched sand. So farewell, Richard Parker, farewell. God be with you.”
“I’ve never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ”
“To lose a brother is to lose someone with whom you can share the experience of growing old, who is supposed to bring you a sister-in-law and nieces and nephews, creatures who people the tree of your life and give it new branches. To lose your father is to lose the one whose guidance and help you seek, who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches. To lose your mother, well, that is like losing the sun above you. It is like losing–I’m sorry, I would rather not go on.”
“You might think I lost all hope at that point. I did. And as a result I perked up and felt much better.”
Posted by Pamela Gilley on January 29, 2015
https://keylifechoices.com/2015/01/29/key-life-choice-4-lessons-on-endings-from-the-life-of-pi/
In A Charlie Brown Christmas Linus stands alone on the stage clinging to his blanket. The spotlight focuses on him as he faces the unseen audience and quotes the angel’s words from the Biblical Christmas account, “Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy.”
Linus and his blanket juxtaposed with the words “Fear not” resonates as we venture along on our life journeys and work toward our goals.
Make Linus’ moment your own. Step onto the stage. Bring your blanket if you like. Face yourself and say as often as you need to do so: “Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy.” Move forward with the steps that will take you toward what you want.
Posted by Pamela Gilley on December 22, 2014
https://keylifechoices.com/2014/12/22/key-life-choice-fear-not-fear/
Credit: Rex Features as posted at cntraveller.com
Back in the late 1960s and all through the decade of the 70s, one of my favorite TV shows was Hawaii Five O. You may be too young to have known that the current show is actually a remake of the original. But I assure you, Detective Steve McGarrett has been saying, “Book ‘em, Danno!” a long time. I can burst into singing that theme song and show you my super-surfer, 50-foot wave stance at the simple mention of Hawaii Five-O. For a long time, I’d give my little brothers instructions and then look at them and say, “Be there, Aloha!” They were not amused.
Then along comes the remake. Like many remakes, the producers have changed things up a bit. Though the logo sometimes seems inconsistent, it appears the name now has a “zero” (Hawaii Five-0) or an 0 that is broadened out looking a bit like a link, instead of a capital O in the name.
In the original, we knew that Detective LT McGarrett was in the Naval Reserve, now Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, USNR, not only has a new rank, but he is clearly linked to the military, even collaborating with the NCIS: Los Angeles team.
The point is the remake isn’t the original. The characters have the same names, but they’ve been tweaked. The settings include new places, and modern-day agencies like the Department of Homeland Security are now part of the episodes.
Why should you care about the original Hawaii Five-O or the remake, Hawaii Five-0? Simply, because I wish for you to consider this communication lesson:
All communication begins and ends with the story we create. When we recreate (or remake) the story, we change the results that we get.
Most stories have at least four elements: the characters, the setting, the problem or event, and the resolution. Our communications have these same elements.
Characters. Like a good movie, TV show, or book, our communications have characters: you, me, and maybe some other folks. We all bring to communication our history, culture, gender, education, personalities, experiences, assumptions, opinions, prejudices, moods, and much more.
Setting. Our communications also have a setting: where and when the communication takes place. Sometimes geography makes a difference, or weather, or time of day, or a public or private place. Sometimes the setting may be online, in an email, on the phone, or face-to-face in a meeting.
Events/Problems/Conflict. We’re always communicating for some reason. We call this the event or the problem we’re trying to solve. As our interactions take place and we attempt to work out what we want or need, misunderstandings may occur. Our emotions may get stirred up a bit. We may think and feel things about the other person that make it difficult to come to a good ending. Tensions and interpretations may cause us to fight, or run away, or just freeze up and stop communicating. We usually just call it conflict.
Resolution. When conflict happens, it’s time to step back and do a remake of the story to find a resolution. How do we do this? By examining the elements of our story and seeing where we might remake something.
Examine the characters, especially yourself. We have the power to change how we look at ourselves and how we’re thinking and feeling about others. Am I unfairly assigning bad intention to someone? Are my assumptions limiting my perspective in some way? Do I need to gather more information? Am I taking something personally, when it is not intended that way?
Examine the setting. Can we move the location where the event is happening? If we were in public, would it help to move to a private location? Do we need to get out of the rain, or the cold, or the hot sun? Is it the wrong time of day to address this issue? Can we take a walk together and talk?
Examine the desired result. Can we modify our expectations in some way? Is there something better? Is there something more agreeable to both of us? Can we change the expected timeframe? Can we lower the cost?
Once we’ve decided how we want to remake the story, we give it a try to see what happens. Remember, we can keep tweaking any of the elements until we’re happy with the result we’re getting. It’s not always easy, but a good story is always worth it.
Key Life Choice: How about sharing one of your story remakes with us? What elements did you remake? How did it change the outcome for you? What made it worth it?
Posted by Pamela Gilley on December 19, 2014
https://keylifechoices.com/2014/12/19/key-life-choice-remake-your-communication-stories/
“What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” 
Consider the Morning Glory – it may choke the vegetables in our garden, but when properly contained, it makes a lovely addition to our fence row.
Consider the Morning Glory – it may choke the vegetables in our garden, but when properly contained, it makes a lovely addition to our fence row.
Finding the good in something or someone often can be difficult.
The challenge is to keep looking, to recognize the limitations of our own perspective, to be mindful of our assumptions, and to acknowledge our prejudices.
Yes, we must be careful, yet we can remain open to new information and possibilities. Even as we’re cautious, we can be curious and creative. To our watchfulness, we have the ability to add a gracious and forgiving spirit.
Things are never just as they seem to us in our individual limited knowledge. Looking for virtues may be one way to add beauty where we’ve previously had none.
Posted by Pamela Gilley on January 18, 2014
https://keylifechoices.com/2014/01/18/key-life-choice-are-you-looking-for-virtues/
Scene from Painted Desert, Arizona – Jan 2014
Don’t ever let anyone paint your world for you.
They always paint it too small.
Choose to paint your own world. The palette you choose,the colors you use, your shades, your hues.
As you follow your dreams, listen to your own heart, live from your own values, choose from your own beliefs.
Guard your passions from those who would place their limited perspective upon your vision for your life.
Key Life Choice: How are you painting your own world? What challenges are you facing? How are you meeting these challenges?
Posted by Pamela Gilley on January 6, 2014
https://keylifechoices.com/2014/01/06/key-life-choice-whos-painting-your-world/
Glass half-full folks are often seen as optimists without a solid basis in reality.
Glass half-empty folks may be seen as realists, yet can seem to have used the contents of the other half of their glass to douse cold water on the enthusiasm of the optimists.
What if you simply brought your glass empty to each day, lifted it up, and excitedly offered it as a vessel to be filled full with the opportunities, challenges, and blessings that come your way?
You might even start looking for a bigger glass.
Challenge: Why not give it a try, and then share with us some of the things you put in your glass today?
Posted by Pamela Gilley on May 17, 2013
https://keylifechoices.com/2013/05/17/another-way-to-look-at-the-glass/
It takes courage to spin your cocoonAre you trusting in the process of change? What work do you need to do to complete an ending? What do you need to rest in for a while? What new wings will you grown into?
Posted by Pamela Gilley on March 15, 2013
https://keylifechoices.com/2013/03/15/are-you-trusting-in-the-process-of-change/
Helping You Regroup, Recover & Reconnect 